Sunday, October 27, 2013

Hair Change - Going back to NATURAL

Many people know me as the woman of many hairstyles. I embrace wigs, weaves, and hair pieces. I have no problem telling ANYONE "this ain't my hair", yes I want the units to look natural, but I will rock a short pixie wig on Wednesday and a shoulder length long wig on Friday. I got into wigs back in 2010 hardcore, I've worn them since 2006. I loved the look of hair perfection that wigs offered in 60 seconds or less. I loved that I could spend a lot less time on my hair and direct that time towards something else. It was a win win for me. My husband has never been a fan of the wigs, but prefers the shorter ones over the longer ones. If he could have it his way, he would have me back in my Kelly Rowland flips that I rocked from 2000-2005 (umm no, sir) I looked like a teenager, not to mention the heat damage my hair took, flips required daily curling irons.  I've done quite a bit with my hair, but one thing I was always committed to was relaxing my hair. Yep, the harsh chemical relaxers aka the creamy crack has touched my hair more times than I can count and for more years than I know. Sad to say but I remember getting the just for me perms, so I know I've been putting those things on my hair for at least 20 years. YIKES!!!!!!!

Lets talk truth about how awful I was to my hair -

I have only had maybe 2-3 professional relaxers in my many years of relaxing. I also almost never waited the 6-8 wks between relaxers, and rarely just relaxed my new roots.

I curled my hair, with HOT curling or flat irons almost every day

I used pro style gel aka and the black tar gel for about 5 yrs

When I did do protective styles like braids of sew ins, I did not take care of my real hair.

I glued in tracks for about a year and forcefully removed the left over glue in my hair.

I rarely every slept with a scarf or bonnet

I rarely every got my ends trimmed

For almost a year I wore wigs and completely neglected my real hair, while I didn't relax it and didn't put much heat to it, I also didn't moisturize it, comb/brush it, or protect it under the wig. My love for wigs is real.

I thought my hair was a lost cause, a done journey and was too damaged to come back from, and it was. I toyed around with doing the big chop in 2011, when the natural hair movement started to become more popular, and here are my truths about how I USE to feel about natural hair.......(don't judge me and just know I've changed my thoughts)

I thought it was a fad and would be gone and back then gone again  like bell bottom pants

I thought doing the big chop was stupid and ugly, why would you cut off the hair you grew your whole life. I also thought that short broken, dry hair I had was the hair I grew my whole life.

I thought black women/people can't grow long hair

I thought afros were ugly

I thought I would have to wear heavy eye make up, lip stick or crazy over the top earring, if I went natural.

I thought men would find it unattractive

I thought natural hair women thought they were better than relaxed hair women.

I thought I would have to give up wearing wigs and weaves.

I thought it just wasn't for me.

So I've been wearing wigs for a few months now, I believe my last relaxer was probably in July. Still not taking care of the hair under my wig, but trying to get better. Exactly 1 week ago I was in the shower washing my hair like I do every 1-2 weeks. It was falling out so much, shedding so much, which was nothing new, but for some reason it was both depressing and frustrating. I was done, I had sat up the night before looking a big chop progress photos on instagram and when I got out of the shower that's just what I did. While my husband sat down stairs screaming at the television (football season) I stood in the bathroom and chopped off my relaxed hairs, it was about 3 inches of hair. It was what everyone says it is. Freeing, sad, scary, exciting, I felt proud of myself and ugly at the same time. But it was like opening a new door and stepping in, I'm on a new journey and I have no idea where this will take me but here are some things I know now

I have a TWA (teeny weeny afro) and I hate/love it.

I'm not comfortable rocking this short of a TWA out in public so I wear a protective style (wig) for now, but trust and know that this time around I'm all about taking care of my real hair and moisture is my biggest concern right now.

I wear my natural hair whenever I'm at home, so the wig comes off when my shoes come off. :)

I'm excited for this journey, I've done so much research and am constantly educating myself about my hair.

All of the feelings I had about being natural were so wrong and I greatly apologize if I offended anyone, but you live and your learn and it takes a real woman to admit that she had those thoughts or felt that way.

I don't think I will every go back to the creamy crack, I mean for what? But I may or may not toy around with the idea of a mild texturizer. But right now it's not an issue, because I have no hair and my hair care routine is very simple and short.

I'm obsessed with natural hair now, it's all I see, and all I look up. I'm trying to remember that there is more about me and more about my life than natural hair, but please bare with me because it's my newest love at the moment.

Here is a photo of my big chop, as of today I'm 1 week natural and loving it.

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